


Trying to be the hero (like always)

by alexisriversong



Series: COWT 2019 [3]
Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst, Canon-Typical Violence, Coma, Extremis Tony Stark, Fix-It, Hurt Tony Stark, Love Confessions, M/M, Multi, Not Actually Unrequited Love, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Polyamory, Polyamory Negotiations, Requited Unrequited Love, Unrequited Love, badly written battle
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-02-23
Updated: 2019-03-06
Packaged: 2019-11-04 12:17:24
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 2
Words: 4,255
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17898293
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/alexisriversong/pseuds/alexisriversong
Summary: Tony has a crush on Steve and then also on Bucky and tries to keep it a secret until he almost dies in a battle.First two chapters are Teen and up and the last one is what earns the rating!





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> First square of my Tony Stark Bingo! Prompt: Confession in desperate situation
> 
> ★ Event: This story participates in “Keep the secret!” by Fanwriter.it!  
> ★ Word count: 2235  
> ★ Prompt: 25. A is secretly in love with B. (More like A is secretly in love with B and C)
> 
> Also written for the COWT challenge by Lande di Fandom. Prompt: Rain

Tony knew he was in love with Steve Rogers from the start. He was hot and had also been his crush since he was a child. He had felt weird when, as a teen, he had started thinking about him while masturbating. He thought him dead after all, it seemed disrespectful.

He had also been completely fascinated by his best friend, Bucky. He thought they were absolutely cool and hot and he frequently found himself confused because he had no idea of whom he was the most attracted to.

When he discovered that Captain America was actually alive, he had to protect himself from the old memories and feelings, so he started teasing and opposing him all the time. Then he discovered that Bucky was the Winter Soldier and he was torn between wanting to save him and wanting to kill him. Even more when he discovered that he had killed his parents.

At first he was so angry, the news almost created a rift between the team. He spent all his time in the workshop, trying not to think about it. It had been Steve that told him as soon as he knew and he was grateful for his honesty. Still, Steve kept defending his friend with all his heart and Tony had to admit he was not completely wrong.

They had found Bucky in a run-down apartment in Brooklyn, trying to recover his memories by himself and just trying to live a normal life. Steve insisted they brought him to the Tower and helped him. Tony had been okay with that until Bucky remembered what he had done as the Winter Soldier and told Steve, who told Tony.

Bucky had a lot of problems, being brainwashed and forced to commit crimes was not something that someone could easily recover from. He was wary of everyone except Steve and looked at Tony with pain in his eyes every time they inevitably met in the corridors.

Tony kept him under surveillance 24/7, even in the night. He knew about his insomnia and the nightmares he had every time he managed to fall asleep. It was sad to see a man he once admired in those conditions.

The constant feed on Bucky, helped them diffuse a potentially catastrophic situation when a man with Bucky’s face caused an explosion that killed the king of Wakanda, during the signature of the Sokovian Accords. Most of the team had been against signing it at first, but when Bucky convinced Steve that it was the easiest way to protect him, everyone else agreed. So, it was quite impossible that Bucky was down in the street when he was also in the room signing the Accords himself.

They found out the perpetrator was actually a man bent on creating a rift between the Avengers, Helmut Zeno. He had lost his family in one of the heroes fight and wanted revenge. His plan would have even worked if the Avengers hadn’t found Barnes when they did. At least the man told them about more brainwashed super soldiers and where to find them. When they got there, they were all dead though.

Eventually, Tony stopped being angry with the brunet about his parents death. He was sad, that’s for sure, but he didn’t blame Bucky, he blamed Hydra. He also blamed them for hurting Bucky and making him kill one of his best friends and try to kill the other. Because Tony knew perfectly well that it mustn’t have been easy to know to have killed Howard considering they had been good friends before Bucky fell from that train.

Also, Tony was absolutely fascinated by Bucky’s arm. As soon as he decided not to blame him for his parents death, Tony started observing what the super soldier did during the day, trying to get a glimpse of silver, wishing for the opportunity to get his hands on the beautiful thing.

Bucky usually spent hours in the gym, working out his frustrations with his fists, he usually removed his long sleeved t-shirt then and Tony was able to observe it move and glint under the lights and the shift of muscles on his muscular cheat and arms. If he was not in the Gym, he was with Steve, walking around the city, going out to eat or just sharing a couch in the living room, trying to get up to date with the new movies and with the events happened while they were freezed.

They made such a beautiful picture that Tony often found himself in his lab, hypnotized by the image they presented in the live feed he had going in there, unable to look away from them. At first they just sat on the couch, space between them. Progressively they got closer together and ended up cuddling in various positions. Their favorite seemed to be with Bucky’s legs over Steve’s lap and his back on the armrest while Steve massaged his feet.

During movie night, the two super soldiers assumed a similar position, but they usually have to share the couch with someone else then and were a bit more self-conscious of themselves.

Tony loved watching them interact and have fun together. Their glee at discovering that some things were still how they had left them in their old neighborhood and there were still the same parks around the city. Their curious faces when they discovered something new and the amazed way they looked at things they had never seen or even imagined could exist.

The expression Tony loved the most was the one they made when they tasted a new good of a new flavor of ice cream, even better if it was something that Tony had shown them.

Lately, Bucky was having troubles with his mechanical arm and had come to Tony to ask for his expertise. Being able to touch and fiddle with the arm was a dream for the genius and also a great source of wanking material. How many times had he thought about how the metal would feel wrapped around his cock, he had multiple times wondered how much feeling the other man had on his metal hands, he was going to be able to get all the answers.

Considering how much he had been attracted to the arm (and the soldier) before being able to put his hands on the real thing, he was incredibly excited about trying to fix it and found himself incredibly disappointed about how easy the mechanics were. He thought the thing was more sophisticated, an exact replica of a functioning arm, transmitters and nerves connected to the soldier’s nervous system to give him actual feedback and precise movements.

Instead he found it incredibly outdated. It was just partially connected to the nervous system in the way that he could think to move the arm and hand and it would do what he wanted, but it gave no feeling to the man attached to it. It was a normal prosthetic, slightly more advanced than the ones currently in the market. That’s why Tony made it his mission to modify it enough that he could improve it exponentially. If Barnes was going to be in the team, he needed the best he had to offer him.

That’s how he started having Barnes around most of the time, fiddling with his arm and falling into easy conversation with the usually taciturn man. At first, Bucky was wary of him, sorry for what he had been forced to do and determined to befriend Tony.

The engineer made it clear from the start that he was completely okay with him and Tony didn’t blame him for anything he had done during the time he was under Hydra’s control. Also, thanks to the help from Princess Shuri of Wakanda, Tony had been able to completely remove the mind trigger from Bucky’s mind and give him back some of his memories from before the war.

Some of the memories came back on their own now and Tony was proud of how the soldier was coping, it was like having back the man he had a crush on all that time before, the one his father always talked about fondly.

During the months he worked on Bucky’s arm, they settled a form of routine. Bucky would come down to the lab in the morning taking breakfast with him and sit in a chair close to Tony. The engineer would detach the arm and work on it while Barnes chatted about everything he thought about, Tony talking back at him easily. After his usual morning run and shower, Steve would join them and sit in a couch Tony had in his lab for when he fell asleep there and sketch on his beloved notebook in silence, quipping in during their banter to add his own opinion sometimes.

Tony was happy like this. He had his two crushes happy and smiling around him, for what he did, for his humor, he was not going to ruin it telling them he jerked off thinking about them both, in his bed at night. What’s more, he knew they were in love with each other, had seen them kissing a lot of times, he was not going to get between them. He cared about them too much.

It was the day after he finished to fix Bucky’s arm that everything changed.

It was pouring down, rain heavy over the city. The call to assemble caught them in the middle of Movie night, they looked outside the window and groaned. Why had they chosen a day like this to attack? Maybe the baddies had found out a way to avoid getting sopping wet during battles?

When they arrived at the scene, they found out that the menace was actually an aquatic alien, so it didn’t really care about the water. Thor insisted it was just a puppy and was innocuous, so they decide to try and calm it down so Thor could move it to his own word thanks to the Bifrost. The rain made it really difficult for them to do that. They could barely see through the coat of rain pouring down from the sky. Anyway, they had managed to catch the puppy (the giant alien puppy that was around 50 m long and at least as much tall and was destroying Central Park) and Thor had left with it somewhere over the rainbow when suddenly they were caught unawares by an explosion behind them.

Tony was sent flying towards the nearest building, hitting it hard, the armor saving him from several broken bones. He still had his breath stolen from him with the impact. Just when he was starting to recover, something grabbed him from his waist and held him up. His vision was compromised by the rain but he could see a tentacle machine was trying to grab all the team members.

He tried to shoot his repulsors at the thing but it seemed to be protected by some kind of electromagnetic shield. His repulsors blast just bounced off and almost caught Clint in his high “secure” spot. Apparently though, the only thing the machine was protected from was his blasts, because Steve was able to cut one of the tentacles with his shield and Bucky’s bullets and Clint’s arrows were hitting it, leaving small electrical blasts that fizzled in the rain.

That actually gave Tony an idea, so he propelled himself towards the thing and landed on what could be considered his back. He could see a little flashing light close to his left hand and a panel just under it.

“Bucky, Clint, at my signal shoot where I am, Just give me a second to jump down from here before you do”

“Affirmative” they both confirmed. Steve was shouting at him to stop whatever he thought he was doing, it was too dangerous and yadda yadda. No one was listening to him, the machine a small but deadly trap that could cause a lot of destruction if left alone.

He managed to open the panel and expose the circuitry it was hiding. He detached some of the cables and crossed others, he had no time to scoff at the low grade technology though. The bot was going crazy, tentacles trying to hit him almost in self-defense.  

He detached the last cable and jumped up, taking flight. “NOW!” he shouted and both the archer and the sniper shot the monster. What he had not counted on though, was one of the tentacles grabbing his leg exactly in the same moment it was hit by the bullet and arrow and getting electrocuted in the process. Metal was a great conductor of electricity though and Tony was in a metal suit, he could do nothing more than curse before he felt the electricity going through his body and felt himself fall to the ground.

He could remember hitting hard and JARVIS trying to activate again and talk to him. Someone opened his faceplate manually and he could barely breathe, his heart rate was too high, it would stop working soon, he had to tell them.

“Steve… Bucky… Love… you” he muttered to the two super soldiers hovering above him before blacking out. He had told them his secret, he could die in peace now.

Of course, after that declaration, the two super soldiers were even more determined not to let him.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> So... This got longer than I thought... This is literally a full chapter in wich Tony is in a coma... 
> 
> This chapter fills the prompt Puzzle for the "Tony Stark Bingo" and also the prompt Revelation for the COWT from Lande di Fandom. The prompt had to be filled with exactly 2019 words.

The darkness surrounded him but he could see the fire at the end. Was it even a fire? It was certainly red and glowing. Was it hot? He could feel his body burning but he was not sure it was because of the fire he could see in the darkness.

The fire was familiar, it glowed like the energy that Wanda produced when doing her magic thing. It looked like a fire he had not seen in a while, since the surgery, the one where they removed his arc reactor. He missed it sometimes. He knew what was happening, he knew what the thing’s name was… But what was it doing? Why was it there? He was supposed to be dead.

He remembered the explosion, he was hit, the integrity of the suit was compromised, he was bleeding internally and had been electrocuted. He couldn’t have survived that.

But then… what was he doing there? In the darkness? Why was he burning hot? What was the fire? What was the name he was forgetting? Why was his brain still working?

He waited in the dark for what seemed like hours, trying to remember something important. He heard voices then, talking about him.

_“What’s happening to him? Can you save him?”_

_“Why is he glowing?”_

_“We don’t know. He should be dead”_

The voices were familiar, he couldn’t place them though. He should be dead. Why wasn’t he? The voice said he was glowing? Why was he glowing?

He kept thinking about this until he couldn’t think about it anymore and focused on the  darkness and the fire. Maybe it was the reason he was glowing, that fire. Maybe he was burning because of it.

The voices came back after a while.

 _“He has an impossible fever but apart from that he is completely healthy. It’s impossible!”_ said the voice that he recognized as the doctor.

 _“I think I know what’s happening”_ said a female voice. It was also really familiar but he couldn’t put a name to it.

He wanted to know the answer, what did the woman know? But the voices faded away again.

It took longer for him to listen to the voices again. He heard someone talking to him, he felt a pressure where his hand was supposed to be.

_“Tony, stay with us. You can’t say something like that and then die. You have to come back. We can’t lose you. We need you”_

He wanted to answer, to tell the voice he was okay, he was not dying, the fire was keeping him alive. Why was the fire doing that? Why was he so sure about that?

Another voice joined the first.

_“Come on Buck. We can’t stay here all day, we need rest. We’ll come back. He’ll come back to us when he can”_

Buck… Bucky! He liked him, he loved him! And… the other voice. He loved the other voice too. The voices faded away again. He held on Bucky’s name until darkness swallowed him again. The fire was glowing less and less every time.

The next time he heard voices, he didn’t focus on them. He could hear Bucky again, but he didn’t listen to what he was saying, just on what was happening with his body. He could feel it again, he had limbs, hands, a torso. He was alive, not dead. He focused on moving, he wanted to show his friends that he was still there. It looked like the fire didn’t want him to though. He fought against the force holding him down.

He heard the voices shouting something, he heard his name between exclamations and happiness, he must have moved, he had tried to so hard. He had moved and they knew he was coming back.

 _“Steve! He moved!”_ he heard Bucky shout before the noise faded out.

Steve. That was the other name. The other guy he loved. Why was it so bad he did? Why shouldn’t he love them? It was a puzzle, he should be able to solve it considering he was a genius, but he couldn’t. He was unable to understand anything happening around him.

What was the fire he kept seeing? Why was it glowing less and less? How long had he been sleeping. How had he survived? What was he forgetting? Why were Steve and Bucky so worried for him?

He kept asking himself this questions over and over hoping to hear them talking again but he could only see the darkness and the darkness had no sound.

Considering he had been able to move his hand before, he wanted to try opening his eyes next. He could feel consciousness closer and closer, the dark was starting to look lighter, until he was able to open his eyes. No one was talking to him this time. He could feel a weight on his left leg and something was holding his hand down. He noticed that he was holding hands with someone and that the hand was metal.

He tried to call Bucky’s name, but the darkness was claiming him again.

The next time, he didn’t try to open his eyes or move. He found the conversation that was happening was too interesting to ignore.

 _“I can’t believe he woke up and I didn’t realize. I wanted to tell him we love him too. I wanted that to be the first thing he heard after opening his eyes for the first time after…”_ Bucky’s voice broke and Tony thought he could hear him sobbing.

_“He will be okay. We can tell him next time he wakes up. Don’t worry. You need rest Buck, it’s okay that you fell asleep, I did too! We may be enhanced, but we are still human and humans need to sleep”_

_“Yeah, you are right. I just… He looks…”_

_“I know Buck, I know”_

This time, when the voices faded away, Tony was a bit grateful. He needed time to process.

So… Bucky and Steve loved him back. That was a big revelation! A piece of the puzzle about what had happened. He remembered confessing to them now. It was what he had always wanted. To be loved back.

He had no idea how it had happened but he was coming back to himself and he could feel he was not burning up anymore. He knew he could wake up now. He was not sure if he should. He didn’t want to ruin what Steve and Bucky had going on already. But what if it wouldn’t ruin anything. They were already passing all of their time at his bedside while he was in recovering. It would be better if he was actually with them. Could comfort them and hold them and be held.

Yup! He had to wake up. But first… he had to understand the last piece of the puzzle. How was he still alive? Why was the fire still burning even if his body had cooled down?

He decided to inspect the fire. He imagined himself close to it and suddenly he was there, looking at the flames.

 _“What are you?”_ thought the Avenger looking at the glowing fire.

 _“We are Extremis”_ a feminine voice answered his silent question.

_“Can you hear me?”_

_“We are one”_

Extremis… Tony knew that, had he been awake, his eyes would be wide and his mouth would be open. As it was, he could just imagine it.

_“How are you still here? How are you communicating with me?”_

_“We never leave a host. We stay asleep while you don’t need us and then help you if you are in danger. That is our mission. We can talk with our host if needed. You are still confused Tony Stark. We are healing your body. We cannot let our host die”_

_“Does it mean I will be immortal?”_ Weirdly, the idea didn’t appeal him too much.

_“You will live until you desire. When you deem your life finished, we will let you die. Until then, we are your protectors”_

_“Will I have super powers now that I awake?”_

_“We don’t know what you mean”_

_“Will I be super strong and things like that? Will I be able to fly like Pepper did? Or throw energy from my hands like Wanda?”_

_“You already have those powers”_

_“What do you mean?”_

_“The suit you made is giving all those powers to you already. We will only activate when needed. If you were in mortal danger and had no suit with you, then we would give you the power you need, but only then”_

_“Seems fair… What if I wanted to fuck my super soldiers against a wall?”_

_“That has nothing to do with us and is not life threatening”_

_“Boring”_ sighed the engineer _“Can I talk to you even when I go back?”_

_“We are part of you. Just find the fire and we will talk to you”_

Then the darkness came back. He had a lot of revelations to accept. He was loved back and he still had Extremis inside himself! That was crazy! He also had learnt he was basically immortal. Not that he would like to live forever, but maybe live until Bucky and Steve did would be awesome. He hadn’t thought to ask how he was going to age, physically, but he could think about that another day. For now, he had two super soldiers to go back to.

He tried to focus on the voices, he could hear them far away and getting closer. They were chatting between themselves. It looked like Bucky and Steve were not alone this time. They were chatting with the female that seemed to have realized what was happening to him before all the others. He now realized it was Pepper, the last piece of the puzzle completing the circle.

No one was holding his hand this time. He couldn’t care less what they were saying. He only needed to drink and he really needed to piss. Or was that the catheter? He remembered the last time he had one and it felt really similar to the need to piss.

He opened his eyes and focused on everything he could see around himself. He wasn’t in a hospital like he thought. He was at the Compound, in his room. He couldn’t hear the beeping of machines or other noises apart from Bucky and Steve’s voices while they talked with Pepper. More like bickered with her.

He decided to pay attention to what they were arguing about for a bit.

“…eed to sleep, both of you! It’s been a week and you haven’t left his bedside. You smell!” was arguing Pepper.

“Hey! We showered Friday morning!” answered sulkily Captain America.

“That was three days ago”

“Oh. Maybe we should go Buck”

But Bucky didn’t answer, he was suddenly in Tony’s visual and was looking straight to him. He was also coming closer and Tony grinned tiredly at him.

“Hi” he croaked. Yup! Definitely thirsty.

“Hi yourself” whispered the super soldier, grabbing his hand with his flesh and blood one “We missed your banter”

Tony cleared his throat and his grin turned to a smirk. “I bet you did” he teased, voice slightly better.

Steve was there with an ice chip in hand and pressing it to Tony’s lips for him to suck on. If Tony licked his finger teasingly or by mistake, no one was to know.

“That’s better” he muttered looking at the faces of the men he loved. He had no idea where Pepper had gone but he didn’t care just then. He was with who he wanted. No matter how much he had loved her and still loved her as a friend, Bucky and Steve were all that mattered now. “Missed you too”

“Tony… we wanted to say” started Steve.

“We love you” they said at the same time.

“We really, really do” affirmed Bucky.

Tony smiled wider. “I know. I could hear part of what was happening here. That’s why in the end I decided to wake up”

“Really?”

“Really. One thing though. You two should shower now. You smell!”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Someone might have noticed the rating went up and also the chapter number went up. That's because I'm adding another chapter that's going to be straight up porn! Well... not really straight but... 
> 
> Anyway! If you don't want to read the porn, your journey ends here. Thank you for reading and everything. If you want to read the porn, it should be posted soon! Hope you enjoy it!

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading! Kudos and comments make my day!


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